Essay: Struggles of a Foreigner in America
Sometimes she gets fearful as she tries to mix Chinese and American cultures as she says “To make my waking life American-normal, I turn on the lights before anything untoward makes an appearance. I push the deformed into my dreams, which are in Chinese, the language of impossible stories”. She remembers that in Brave Orchid’s world of Chinese folk tales, there are so many ghosts, who are always agonizing humans, but in America, there are no such stories.
After waking up, she pretends to live the normal American life but in her dreams her head, which is filled with her mother’s tales brings back ghosts. The ghosts come back as strange beings, babies who are deformed or as dead and crazy women. Her mother cannot let her choose the kind of life she wants but keeps on filling her brain with these ghost stories just as she packs her suitcases with “homemade underwear”. (Kingston, 98) They live in alongside other emigrants who chose to go and live in a foreign land. She tries her level best to live like an American but deep down in her she knows she is Chinese and there is nothing she can do about the situation. She tries to blame her mother for this because she does not want to feel hopeless in her situation. She thinks it is because of her mother’s stories that she feels as a Chinese.